| | An invisible overcoat hangs across my shoulders. The scent is pungent and pessimistic. Lined with my doubts and insecurities, the weight proves to be a challenge to carry. I am prone to lulls of nostalgia. A past friendship often comes to mind. Certainly, I am the cause of its failure; I assure myself of this fact. Despite my good willed demeanor, my words and actions can be far more corrosive than I wish them to be. My empathy and dynamic only extend to those who are close to me and quickly plunge to those I am not able to speak to regularly. Their own worlds are delicate kalediscopes that I must ask permission to view. Feeling and touching is not allowed. They are far too personal actions. At the same time, I realize this and I should also understand this more than any one else. I am sensitive to these equally so. In disregarding the wants of others over my own petty ones makes me selfish and worst of all, a hypocrite. I have severe doubt that she would ever accept me again. I am not afraid to admit that I still possess the same feelings that I've always had for her even after that uneventful conversation. Yet, I am hesitant to ever admit it to her. In order to maintain her happiness, all I need to give her is a blank stare, if we were ever to meet. After all, there are many different types of people and there are plenty that wouldn't care to ever see me again.
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| | Posted 5/28/2008 12:51 PM - 21 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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